blah » rambling

for math geeks

bangky — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 13:09:01 +0000

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2009 – a year in retrospect

bangky — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 16:32:01 +0000

Where has 2009 gone? It’s a question that seems to be persistently pestering me these days. All too often, I find myself wondering where an entire year has gone, and whether a new year has really begun. Not too long ago, I was thinking of “last year” as my J2 year – which I remember as a year of lessons, recesses, class outings, worrying (to some extent at least) about A-levels, and thinking about matters that seem a lot less significant in retrospect. Now the “last year” that I’ve been thinking about has become “the year before”.

Similarly, the “this year” that instinctively comes to mind is one where I slacked around for a couple of months, did a few odd jobs here and there, made a trip to china, and of course, became an NSF. Of course it wouldn’t do justice to the time and memories past that I simply gloss over the last eight months as “being an NSF”. The last eight months have been a period of self-realization. It hasn’t been a glamorous eight months. In the first few months of these eight, I’ve given up certain opportunities, and there is certainly a lot more that I could have done. Nonetheless, even if time were to replay itself as the result of a bizarre malfunction of the space-time continuum, I would probably have made the same choices given the circumstances of those times.

Whether it’s out of self-consolation or genuine self-realization, I guess that’s how life is supposed to be. We make choices at certain points in time, often without full information of the consequences of these choices. The associated consequences are a mixture of the good and the bad, never solely consisting of one without the other. The composition of this mixture will tend towards either end of the spectrum, resulting in a general sense of (dis)satisfaction with the choice made. I’m trying not to sound like a generalist, but perhaps the essence of the art of finding happiness lies in admiring the good, while acknowledging the bad in the consequences of the choices we make.

That said, I think the reason why the past year seems to have passed so quickly is because of the lack of particularly memorable events, at least for a large portion of it. I’ll gladly acknowledge the more memorable occasions, but to a larger extent, it’s mostly been about spending each working day anxiously looking forward to the end of the day, or to the end of the week. I hate to sound cynical or depressive, but maybe that’s how working life for most people is like. Spending each working day battling trolls and monsters at work, and hoping for the quick arrival of salvation, either in the form of the end of the day, or the next well-deserved break.

With that in mind, I’m pretty convinced that I shouldn’t live through 2010 in as mundane a manner as I did last year. Life looks set to get better, in more ways than one. It’s up to me to keep the momentum up, to keep things moving, to try new things, to do cool shit, to live the good life. 2010 here I come.

would you like wonho tonight?

bangky — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 12:12:05 +0000

Here’s Wonho Chung, a Korean comedian born in Jeddah, raised in Amman, and whose best spoken language is Arabic. Seriously, I’m not kidding. From the videos of him that are available on Youtube, I don’t think he’s reached the level of the likes of stand-up comedians like Russell Peters. But hey, it’s not like Russell Peters speaks Hindi, Korean or some other language like this Korean chap can. Other than cars and electronics, he’s probably the best Korean import there is in the Middle East.

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overworked and underpaid

bangky — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 10:53:26 +0000

Are you being overworked and underpaid this holiday season? Fret not, you’re not the only one out there!

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19th december 2009

bangky — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 08:57:09 +0000

The Preamble - This blog entry comes as the first in slightly over two months, and the first journal-style entry in an even longer while. It’s not that I’ve fallen off the face of the Internet though, just that I’ve been pre-occupied with certain matters of a higher priority.

A Year Since - This entry marks a year since I decided to re-skin this blog from the dull and unoriginal default skin to something else a little more interesting, and start writing about matters outside of the technical domain. The skin that you see today comes two revisions later but the changes you’ll see are more than just aesthetic. There has probably been a marked, consistent change in the content of the entries posted within the past year. The frequency at which entries are posted has taken a notable decrease, largely due to my full-time occupation as an NSF. Hopefully, this decrease in frequency is but a transient observation that will change with today’s blog entry.

The Only Constant – In the most vague and general terms, the past year is one where there has been a distinct adoption of interests and re-prioritization of existing ones. These changes have surprised myself, and at least a handful of the people who are close to me. Along the way, I’ve probably stepped on a number of toes. It’s not something I’m proud of, and in most cases, I apologize for my transgressions. But as the cliched phrase goes – change is but the only constant in life – I hope these changes will turn out to be for the better.

Gummy Bears - I haven’t lost my mind nor have I developed an unhealthy obsession with these delightful sugary confections. But seemingly cryptic as it is, gummy bears have a mysterious ability of either making me smile like a demented fool or cry like a baby, sometimes simultaneously, or at least with one following the other in rapid succession. I’m certainly not giving up my gummy bears for anything in the world! While I’d like to be verbose in the public domain, the grace and elegance of subtlety carries a certain magic to it. Since it is often said that a picture speaks a thousand words, at 12 pictures per second for 161 seconds, that’s almost 1.9 million words. So this is it. I’m a yummy, tummy, funny, lucky gummy bear! (:

Vacation!

bangky — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 13:56:39 +0000

Do you hear me? I need a vacation. Now!

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House

bangky — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 13:29:35 +0000

House – one of the 15 films from the short-film project, 15 Malaysia
An Indian boy is asked to build a model of his dream home at school. Yet what he makes is somewhat different from what one would expect, in fact, it seems to defy logic – but does it really? This is a tale about the social economic plight faced by many Malaysians, and in some ways, it’s a subtle reminder of the inherent racial stereotypes and social structure that is prevalent in Malaysia.

Rich son poor son

bangky — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:28:47 +0000

Three elderly women speak proudly of their children’s high-flying careers. The fourth woman’s son, however, does not have such a career but he has something else the other three women envy.

等我们成家立业，事业有成以后，我们的父母又会如何谈起我们?

Hey you!

“Sorry” isn’t the most difficult word to say. It’s goodbye.

bangky — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:47:52 +0000

Sorry isn’t the most difficult word to say ( whateverwaiwan.tumblr.com )

After these few days, I’ve begun to wonder whether I would have the courage and the strength to leave Singapore when it is my turn two years later. I mean, if saying goodbye to just two people is so difficult, how will I ever bear to say goodbye to everyone in Singapore – my family, my friends, the places that I loved to go to, and my home.

I guess for them it must have been the same feeling, and that made me feel all the more speechless. While they were packing, out shopping for things to bring overseas, it must have felt like a dream. I didn’t know what I could say, or how I could say anything at all in the first place. I was awkward, afraid, anxious, unsure and petrified all rolled into one. It was all so surreal until the moment I looked at the clock and realized it was just about time for them to check-in their luggage and walk through to look for their plane.

I guess it has already sunk in that many people are on the way to greater things in their lives. All I can say is that I’m terribly proud of them. Of where they are now, and where they are headed. I’m proud of the courage that they have had to venture out into the open – to a bigger ocean, a bigger lake, a bigger pond.

They have, after all, matured into greater and bigger fish, fully capable of taking on the world.

Wherever you guys/girls are – if there is anything I can do, I will do my best. A thousand times over. (Like Hassan said in The Kite Runner – “For you, a thousand times over.”)

well said, wai wan. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Ikrar Kita – Our Pledge

bangky — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 12:17:29 +0000

kami warga negara Singapura
sebagai rakyat yang bersatu padu
tidak kira apa bangsa, bahasa, atau ugama
berikrar untuk membina suata masyarakat yang demokratik
berdasarkan kepada keadilan dan persamaan
untuk mencapai kebahagian, kemakmuran, dan kemajuan bagi negara kami

I’m Chinese, not Malay. But does it matter? I am Singaporean, and despite the peculiarities and idiosyncrasies which I stand against, this is my country, and this is my pledge. Our pledge. Ikrar kita. For a reason unbeknownst to even myself, I have preferred to recite the pledge in its Malay form for a couple of years already. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there? Perhaps it’s the way my favourite phrase in the pledge invokes a strong wave of emotion – “kepada keadilan dan persamaan” (based on justice and equality). Maybe it’s the powerful visions of hope it contains – a hope that the nation we live in can yet be so much better. I’m no constitutional law expert, but I know what my pledge means, and I believe in it.

I wasn’t surprised then to find out that I’m not the only one who views the pledge as more than the words of a mind-numbing ritual conducted daily in public schools across the country.

The Singapore of our National Pledge ( theonlinecitizen.com )

… As the ranks of patriotic Singaporeans who share these ideals swell, the fear will fade, as it is beginning to. All that is missing now, readers, is you. Do you share that vision?

If you do, then I promise you, surely change will come. Change will come from those citizens of our country who put their hands to their chest and mean every word of our National Pledge, not from those who deride it as impractical aspiration.

Change will come despite those who deride the impracticality of a “democratic society, based on justice and equality”. The day has come, a line has been drawn in the sand, between those who believe in living Rajaratnam’s vision, and the men who see it as empty rhetoric…

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